Dear Secret Keeper,I hang out with these three girls. One is really young and likes to gossip. The other girls just play along, but sometimes they add to the mix to keep mess going. I hate talking crap behind people's back and I've spoken up about it. Since then, they seem to be pulling away from me. When I come from the bathroom they stop whispering as soon as I get close. I don't know if they are talking about me or someone else.
We've all been good friends for years. I don't want to lose them as friends, but enough is enough. How can I keep my friends, but without all the cat fighting?
--no more drama pulease
Dear NO MORE DRAMA, PULEASE,
You are not alone. Most women don't like gossip, they just don't want to rock the boat. Maintain your stance on the 'no-gossip' front. Remind them that karma comes and kicks all of us eventually. Change the subject when you can to keep the mood positive.
If you see that they won't change, then maybe you need to find some new friends. If they complain, let them know why you've backed away now. Tell them that your time with them is no longer enjoyable. You want a positive energy around the four of you. Stay grounded because negative energy can be tough to put out in threes.
Advice for everyone: Your friendships define who you are. Examine them to see what they say about you as a person. Find people with common interests and values when searching for new companions. Bad friendships can be hard to break if they are codependent, so choose wisely.
Good luck!
~~secret keeper
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